When Sounds Become Words (of Thanks)

Boy, I could use some of this right now

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I know I'm a little late, but I still wanted to wish everyone back home the best on this special day. Don't worry about me, thanks to the US military and my church, I got my turkey again this year. Things have changed a lot since year one in Korea, but it hasn't gotten much easier being away from home during the holidays. It's been four years already since I last sat down to properly share the turkey and mom's broccoli casserole , but I hope that that streak will end next year. Sorry Mom and Dad. Love you guys!

Thanks to God, my wife, my family, and my life. All are good. I would have preferred if all three Thanksgiving NFL games had out the other way, but hey, I'll take what I can get.


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Now that that's out of the way, I was thinking the other day about how the language barrier has fallen during my now 3+ years here. Don't get me wrong, the wall is still high, but brick-by-brick it has, and continues to, come down. Simple logic will tell you that this is bound to happen, especially with as long as I've been here and as much as I've studied in that time, but you don't often think about it as it's happening. And then you realize one day, as you're sitting in Starbucks that, "새로울 만들고 5분만 기다려 주세요" no longer sounds like, "LKJF &@@# $JKF 똥ADSFJK;L^O^." Well, of course it sounds the same, but now it has meaning. And that's key.

I remember when I first talked about coming here with my friends and family, the question that always came up was, "Can you speak Korean? " Obviously the answer was, 'No', and, admittedly, I didn't need to then. But I'm glad that I would be able to give a different answer if someone asked me now.

Again, naturally, if you stay long enough, this will happen anywhere, but it's amazing when you look back and reflect on how far you've come. I may never be a master of the Korea language, but I'm getting closer.


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Originally, this was supposed to be the end of my post. But something happened a few weeks ago that I just must talk about. I've been going back and forth since that time about whether I should mention it here or not, but I really think I should share. It's not because I'm still angry and needing to vent or because I have any hope that the older gentleman in the story I'm about to relate will stumble upon this English-language blog and read what I write. It's simply because, despite the number of other posts in Korean-related blogs about the topic, this is still something that this society needs to hear. I have no idea who is listening, and I appologize in advance to anyone who doesn't like me painting Korea in a negative light, but this is real.

Basically, what happened was this. My wife and I stayed the night at her parents' house and were on our way to the subway, so that she wouldn't be late for work. Along the road was an older man, who heard us coming, turned around and took one long dirty look at the two of us before not-so-quietly muttering his opinion on what he saw. Not to be treated like a pair of ciminals, we asked him to clarify what he said. The result was nothing short of us being screamed at and my wife being called names that prefer not to reproduce, even in writing. Let's put it this way...they weren't too nice.

Look, I get it. He's a little older and has probably lost some capacity to think as clearly as he once could. And this is Korea, where elders are to be respected and where racial purity has been pridefully valued for thousands of years. I get that. But there was nothing respectable about the way that he treated us. Nothing. Whether is was the right choice or not, I chose not to fight back. I can stand up for my wife's honor. That's not the issue. It's that I knew exactly how hopeless my efforts would be. This is a much bigger issue than one old man. And, even if I did decide to let him hear my side of the story, chances are someone with a smartphone would catch it, and I would later become a Naver sensation as the indignant foreigner who publicly disrepects his elders. That doesn't look too good on a resume.

So let me just end with this, please wake up, Korea! Again, I recognize that this is mostly the result of thousands of years of resistence to foreign invasion, but this is a new millenium. And the things that once made Korea 'great,' now hold it back. That was just one individual and is by no means a typical situation, but it's nothing new to be viewed with angry eyes when going around town with my wife. Let me say that again, with my WIFE! No one out there knows us, and I just don't see how the connection with my WIFE and her fellow citizens takes precedance over a marriage covenant, willed and sealed by God. If our life is acceptable to us, our families, our governments, and our God, who is anyone else say otherwise?

This is an on-going problem that has no easy answer. I admit that things have been getting better, compared to many of the stories I've heard of and from longer-married couples, but there is still a long way to go. For now, I just wish people would mind their own business.

Until next time,

-스티브