Sometimes You Gotta Make Another

More after-work adventures with my buddy, the evening groundskeeper...

***

5:15pm, in a mostly empty and dark school. Leaving my classroom, I see a figure down the hall

'Alright, I'll see you later' (shouting down the hall)

'Going already?' (turning around to see me, before I can duck off down the stairs)

'Yep'

'I've been meaning to ask you...' (walking my way)

'...you said you're not married, right?'

'Nope'

'Hmm' (leaning against the wall, head up, hand on his chin)

'...'

'I've been thinking since I met you. You're a pretty good guy'

'Thank you?'

'I'm just thinking if I know anyone for you...'

(awkward)

(pause)

(pause)

'Alright. Let me know if you find anyone...' (I don't mean it)

'...gotta run to catch the train' (that one, I meant)

'Alright, okay. See you later'

Translation: You're 25 (Korean age), getting older. If someone doesn't step in soon, you're going to be lonely for the rest of your life. And there's no better way to find a wife than through an arranged meeting between you and your parents' (or any individual who sees himself as filling the same role) friend's daughter.

***

A few weeks later...

'All finished?'

'Yep. Time to head home.'

'Why do you still have that?'

'What?'

(Points to my face. I guess my standard 'keeps my face warm' excuse is well past expired, now that it's May. Too bad everyone knows I'm not married, so can't use the 'my wife likes it' trump card)

'Oh, that? Haha' (trying to laugh off his serious inquiry)

'Gotta shave it'

'You don't like it?' (already knowing the answer, but delaying the inevitable)

'Aak'

'...'

'If you got rid of it, you'd look soooo good'

'You mean I don't look good now?'

(No reply)

Translation: Shave the beard already! You look like a criminal. You'll never find a girl who will want to marry you with that thing on your face.

Korea hates my beard, but (at least from what I hear) girls DO love money...

and this guys's got a pretty rockin' beard...

...and this one...

...oh, yeah. This one, too.

I'm just sayin'

***

And finally, yesterday...

'All done?'

'Yep'

'I wanted to ask you, what do you do when you go home?' (a relatively standard, innocent question. Still not sure where he's going with this...)

'I...uh...have class and stuff'

'But it's just you. You're alone?'

'Yeah, basically'

'Just 1?'

'Uh...I guess so'

(a sinister laugh erupts)

'Oh, no! You can't have that. You gotta make one more. Gotta make another'

'Alright, I'll think about it' (running to avoid the Mr. Hyde that has formulated in front of me, and to make sure I don't miss the train)

Translation: I told you a while back that you needed to get married. What's taking you so long???

***

Until next time...

(probably STILL won't be married)