The Voice of Love: Calling All Korea-Born Adoptees

As many of you may know, there are more than a few cultural taboos about adopting children in Korea. While the local government has made some recent small attempts to remove these cultural stigmas and promote adoption, the general population remains hesitant to break away from their long-held beliefs about family, leaving an estimated 1.3 million parentless children sitting in orphanges waiting to find homes.

Luckily for these children, potential adoptive parents from the US, Europe, and other places around the world have never been short supply. The cost, availabilty, and ease of an overseas adoption have long made Korea an attractive option for prospective parents from other nations, regardless of ethnicity.

Recently, however, the government in Seoul has become determined to end this "shameful" act of "baby exportation." To reduce the number of parentless Korean children being sent overseas, the ROK began establishing limits on the number of yearly overseas adoptions. Since inception, these quotas have been lowered every year, with the intention of one day ending all foreign adoptions. Ideally this would lead to more domestic adoptions and keep Korean children in Korea, but all that it has accomplished is leaving more and more children in the orphanages and more and more potential parents on waiting lists.

While I recognize that the motives behind all of this are well-intentioned, it simply is not working. Despite heralded claims by the government that domestic adoptions now outnumber foreign ones, the recent change is more due to the limitations on the later than a significant increase in the former. Hopefully, in time, Korea can change it's collective mind about adoption, and the designed goal will become possible. Of course, that will be a great day. But, for now, it appears to be a long way off.

This is really two problems. One (the cultural stigma against adoption) can, and I believe will, be changed over time. The other, and more immediate concern, can be fixed now. While no one will ever listen to the 1.3 million babies that are currently in Korean orphanages, the government would have to listen to the collective voice of those people who have formerly been adopted overseas...and are doing quite well.

To battle this, Onnuri English Ministry in Seoul and the organization Hope for Orphans is currently working to petition the Korean government to remove quotas for foreign adoptions of Korean children. The campaign, known as 'Voice of Love,' asks adoptees or parents of adoptees to record your own short video story, and upload it to Youtube. Then share it. If you're not an adoptee or don't know anyone who is, you can still help. Simply watching the video testimonies as they come in, will be an indication to the government that people are taking notice.

If you are a Korean-born adoptee, have adopted from Korea, or know someone who has, please share this message and share your story. Below is a video link that tells you more about the campaign and how you can share your testimony. Together we can tell the Korean government that there is no shame in giving children homes.

Thank you

For more info:
www.voiceoflove.org

Everybody Pees

First graders are cute. They may be little monsters who are stuck somewhere between the baby stage and middle childhood, but that's why I love them. They say funny things, do funny thing, and their general naiveity about the world can be flat out hilarious. Take this instance from a few weeks back:

'Teacher! Bathroom!'
'No, sorry. You need to go before class. We just started, and you were here playing cell phone games in the hallway for ten minutes before class. You'll have to wait'
'Bathroom!'
'No, James. You do this everyday, and you were fine three minutes ago. You can't possibly have to go that bad.'
'Teeecheer'
'Everyone open your books to page...'
(in Korean) 'Bathroom! Pee! Pee!'

The boy can no longer sit and is not dancing audibly in the back of the room.

'Teacher! Bathroom!'
'I said you'll have to wait. If you want to go, it'll cost you a sticker. Do you want to go?'
'No.' (dancing) 'Pee, pee, pee'
(to the rest of the class) 'Okay, what's this?'
'Pee, pee'
(ignoring the danceshow) 'How are you?'
'Pee, pee'
'James! We have 5 minutes left. You can wait. You won't die'
'PEE!'
(giving in to stop the class disruption) 'Okay, but next time you have do it before class'
(the boy runs out the door)

(girl to a boy sitting next to her)
'Do boys pee, too?'
'Yes'


***


I'm convinced that the Seoul subway is one of the best places in the world for people watching. Recently I've noticed that there seems to be a silent agreement amoungt riders that the end seats are the best seats. Personally, I don't get it. Squeezing yourself between a person and an unmovable armbar is far more uncomfortable than being squeezed between two people. Obviously, however, I'm in the minority, as the competition for these seats is high. People will race each other onto the train, even cutting in line, to get the "best" seat in the house. Or if the position occupied, riders will change seats the instant the offending rider gets up, inventing a number of ways to cutoff the hundreds of others who seem dead-set on sitting high and mighty in the promised land. Even I, for no reason other than that everyone else valued those seats so highly, started viewing them as the most desirable and would rush and change seats to secure one. The thing is, though, that I don't even like those seats. Weird.

So I've decided that I'm going to stop caring. Honestly, I don't know why I was going for them anyway. Probably people will think I'm crazy, but even if I'm sitting next to an empty seat on the end, I'm not going to shift over. Personally, I like my seat in the middle. It's more comfortable and I get the added joy of forcing twice as many people to sit next to a foreigner. I'll leave the less desirable end seats to those willing to fight for them.


***


Maybe it's because I've been reading Thoreau, but I've realized that the number of treasured memories I have camping, sitting around ponds, and watching ducks, is far more than those that I have sitting around a computer or watching TV. And the joyful times I've spent in the early mornings are greater than the enjoyment I've ever gotten from sleeping in late.

It's ironic, then, how I've spent unmeasurably more time doing things that I don't value than those I do. Unfortunately, this has become a nasty cycle; the reason I can't go out to the park on a Saturday is because I want to sleep in, and the reason I like sleeping late is because I was up late all week, watching TV or doing mindless things on the Internet.

It's a dangerous situation living in a concrete jungle, where you are constantly surrounded by cafes, movie theaters, and other 'exciting' things to do. But what I think I really need is to get out more.


***

I'm off now. Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!

새해 복 많이 받으세요!

-스티브

Here's to Second Chances

I just got back from saying goodbye to a friend. I've said goodbye to a lot people in my time in Korea, as that seems to be the nature of living as an expat in a foreign country. You let people into your lives, only to watch them leave a short while later. It makes things hard, as you begin to question what it means to be a true friend and what role the people you meet really play in your life. The true friends, you stay in contact with. And the rest end up just making you feel a little more popular on Facebook.

But that's not this issue here. This time the goodbye was a lot different. This friend was from Korea, and this friend didn't want to leave. But the way things have gone for him these past few months, leaving his home country was just about the only option he had.

Let me start by saying that this friend has shared some amount of notoriety in this country for both his past success and other recent events. It doesn't really matter who it is or specifically what caused this to happen, but it does seem that the extent of the ruling issued, when compared to the others who were also involved in greater or lesser degrees, was based more on his level of prominence than the actual degree in which he took part in the activity.

I'm not trying to say that he's innocent. But I'm also not going to say that he's as guilty as he's been made out to be. There are a lot of other factors involved, not the least being that those pointing the fingers have accepted absolutely no blame for what has happened. But this isn't a discussion about guilt or innocence. This is a question about second chances.

Why is Korean society so unwilling to offer second chances? Time and time again since I've been here, I have seen how TV personalities, singers, athletes, and former presidents have been turned from national heroes to public enemy #1 seemingly overnight. Including in my friend's case, the court rulings were one thing, but it was the social backlash from the media and bloodthirsty bloggers that has risen each of these situations to a much higher level. Legally, you can fulfill what's required of you and move on with your life. But in a place like this, you can likely never escape the nasty looks, whispers, and discrimination of the public eye.

I get it. This is culture that is based much more heavily on the idea of public shame than what I'm used to back home. I don't want to make a judgement call on the right way of handling justice, but there has to be a point where enough is enough. A point where those pointing the fingers should step back and ask themselves, "How much of this is my fault?" A point where someone can make up for their past actions and move on. In Korea, however, it seems like that point is rarely reached. And in this information age, spreading shame and rumors has never been easier. I know that's not easy anywhere, but, at least to me, it seems like getting those type of opportunities to hit the restart button are particularly rare here.

Maybe I'm just down because I know someone who's now been mixed up in this type of thing. I don't know. It's sad that it's come to this. That is all.

I am happy, however, that he does have a second chance. Maybe not in this country, but I thank God that someone has given him the opportunity to try to start things anew. Someone was willing to reach out at a time when it seemed that everyone else had turned their back. That's a true blessing because, otherwise, I don't know what he would have done. Too often these kind of stories have tragic ends, but at least this time, there's a new chapter.

The way I see it, the only way my friend will be welcome back into this country with smiles is if he is able to make a name for himself abroad, as likely or unlikely as that may be. He isn't going anywhere glamourous, but it's a start. Korea likes nothing more than to see Koreans getting attention in other places, and there's no doubt that if he found a way to do that, he'd be given the hero's welcome in an instant. It would be like nothing ever happened. They'd love him for what he's done outside Korea and just conveniently overlook the part about how they sent him there.

The question at that point would be how he would react if that happened. Would want to come back, or would he turn his back on the country that so fervently turned it's back on him? Honestly, I don't think he would. I've been really impressed by how he's dealt with this whole period of trial, and I believe he would prefer to become a part of the solution, rather than the problem. Unlike some people, he believes in second chances.

Good luck, My friend! 화이팅!

Why So Serious?: Thoughts on the Yin and Yang of the Korean Peninsula

"This is what happens when an unstoppalbe force meets and immovable object. You are truly incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever...

I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you?...No, no, No! No. You...you...complete me."

In some East Asian philosophies, it is said that everything functions on a balance between yin and yang. The world is in a constant battle of opposites: good and evil, loud and soft, strong and weak, North and South. In high school chemistry class we called it equilibrium and defined it as, "the condition of a system in which competing influences are in balance." To upset the equilibrium would send the whole system into a spiral.

As I'm sure that anyone with any interest in Korea already knows, the Korean peninsula has existed in this state of yin and yang for the past 60 years. Yes, no treaty has ever been signed, and the peninsula has been in a cold war since 1950. But long gone are the days where 'war' meant anything more than empty threats, propaganda, weapons testing, and the a few, very rare armed confrontations.

Unfortunately, the latter was the case on March 26, 2010, when the ROKS Cheonan mysteriously sank near the sea border with North Korea and 46 young South Korean crewmen, many of whom were likely fulfilling their 2-year military obligation, met their ill-fated end. Immediately, an investigation was launched into the cause of the accident. Rumors flew around about stray water mines and mistakes by the US navy. But the one explanation that no one wanted to hear was that the sinking of the Cheonan was at the hands of Kim Jong-il and his North Korean 'invincible' military. Nearly two months after the incident, that's exactly the conclusion that was reached.

Immediately after that incident, tensions rose between the two Koreas. To the outside world, it may have seemed that the peninsula was spiraling into territory unknown since the ceasefire was signed in 1953. Lee Myung-bak, The South Korean president, took a harsher stance on inter-Korean relations than he or many of his predecessors have before, by freezing trade, reestablishing propaganda channels to the North, and refusing to rule out the possibility of armed retaliation if any further unprovoked attacks of ROK ('Repulic of Korea,' the South) territories or properties. The UN gave their support. China remained largely neutral, though subsequent rumors showed the likelihood that they would support South Korea, if absolutely necessary. The international media was in a frenzy.

North Korea's response? Total refusal of responsibility. The rest of the world had seen the evidence, but according to NK's big-brother media, they had nothing to do with it. And if the US, UN, or ROK choose to respond too harshly, Seoul would be turned into a "sea of fire" within 5 minutes.

Things quickly cooled down, however, until November 23, 2010, when the North attacked again, this time in a slightly less undeniable fashion. Seemingly out of nowhere, though the US-ROK armies were holding their yearly maritime drills amid North Korean warnings to cease, dozens of artillery shells where launched at the South Korean Yeonpyeong Island, killing two soldiers and two civilians. Unlike the attack a few months earlier, this confrontation was a direct attack on a civilian area. In fact, it was the first since the ceasefire was signed in 1953. Again, tensions were high. Were we doomed to be swallowed in a sea of fire that would spark an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust? Some were more than a little concerned. Military presence was definitely upped, and I'm sure many expats began tracing their escape routes home. It looked like all-out war was inevitable; at least that's what it looked like to anyone watching CNN or reading the NY Times. And then...

...nothing.

Just like every other confrontation between the two Koreas, at least those that I've witnessed in the three-and-a-half years that I've lived here, the situation never escalated beyond that point of no return. In time, life was back to normal.

Since those confrontations, the general population in South Korea has accepted the obvious explanations; North Korea was, and still is, in an unstable condition of famine and intense poverty, then-leader Kim Jong-Il's health was in question, and there was no known successor to the North Korean Communist throne. Shortly after the Yeonpyeong incident, Kim Jong-Un was named a four-star general and unveiled as the eventual replacement for his father. For a nation that has based so much of it's identity and resources upon it's claimed million-man army, destined to "save" South Korea and reunite the Korean peninsula, this seemed like nothing more than an internal power play. A chance to blow up a few bombs, take a few pictures, and chalk-up one or two "great victories" for the next-in-line. In other words, it was an attempt by the North Korean army and propaganda machine to begin building the foundation for a new personality cult for Kim Jong-Un. A personality cult that worked so well for the first two Kims and would be absolutely essential for ensuring a smooth transition in the event Kim Jong-Il were to die.

And then it happened. The skied glowed red above sacred Mount Paektu, the impenetrable sheet of ice at the heart of the mystical volcano cracked with a deafening roar, and Kim Jong-Il was no more. The official report is that he died of a massive heart attack, although the true cause of death is still in debate, with conspiracy theories of a possible murder still circulating. The bottom line, however, is that he's dead as a doornail. Gone. Vamoose. And now's the time for Kim Jong-Un, the 'Great Successor,' to step into the batter's box.

Or is he? As in the incidents mentioned above, the Korean peninsula is once again in a state of uncertainty and confusion. Little is generally known about the new Kim, and it's unknown whether he'll continue along the erratic and merciless policies of his father, or if he'll push North Korea into a new era, resembling more of modern-day China than Stalinist Russia. But that's not the concern at this point in time. The real question, is, Did Kim Jong-Il die too soon? In only one year since he was named successor, has Kim Jong-Un been able to build up enough of a following to successfully convince his elder comrades (those much older, much more experienced, and likely to have killed a few hundred more people) and his starving population that he is the rightful replacement to rule North Korea? At this point, it's still anyone's guess, but the media has not been silent. Rumors of a power struggle, revolution, and even war have been circulating. The US and South Korean militaries have been put on high alert to watch for unusual movements along the border. Everyone, except the South Korean general population, is caught in a state of impatient uncertainty. So far, at least, things seem to be going smoothly. But in the weeks and months to come, no one really knows.

So what's the deal? Will North Korea start bombing? Should we be concerned about a new Korean War? Is this the time for South Korea to take advantage of the confusion, step in, and reunite their nation? Are the doomsday predictions for 2012 coming true? Personally, for whatever my opinion is worth, I think there's still a long way to go before any of that happens.

Firstly, you have to consider what either side would have to gain from such a war that, if it left anyone alive, would have massive social, political, and economic rammifications. For the South, it would mean the inheriting of 20+ million people (many of whom are reportedly eating opium to stay alive), run-down cities, ruined farmland, failed building and damming projects, and 60 years of political brainwashing. It would put a strain on the world's 11th largest economy that could me more fatal than war itself. Though traditional attachments of reuniting the two Koreas sounds good on paper, experts suggest that the split is already 10 times worse than it was at the time of the German reunification. Making Korea whole again could tear the heart of the South Korean economy, and that is something that most Koreans in the South know their country just couldn't handle.

From the perspective of the North, it gets a bit more complicated. To North Koreans, the South is the yin to their yang. While the rest of the world looks on them with concern, they are taught that the South Korea are the ones worthy of pity, victims to the oppression of the "American imperialistic bastards." Compared to South Korea, North Korea is a paradise. They have nothing to envy, and as Korea's better half, it is their duty to rescue their blood-brothers in the South, reunite the Korean people, and make big, happy socialist utopia. Hard to believe, considering what we know about the living conditions in North Korea, but understandable, considering that all information and news coming in from the outside world gets filtered through and totally warped by the North's propaganda machine. If that's all you've ever heard your entire life, it's likely that you'll trust it to be true.

So why, then, if North Korea is so great and South Korea is so worthy of pity doesn't North Korea just go ahead and "rescue" the Korean people? I think the answer is simple. Because that wouldn't solve anything. From what I understand to be true, it is that unfulfilled promise that keeps North Korea standing. According to the North Korean rhetoric, Korea is not divided for political reasons. The country is, in a sense, sick. The only thing that will fix it is reunification. And the only people trustable enough to accomplish that is the Party. So...despite facing ungodly working conditions, unlivable living conditions, terrible health, little rest, virtually no food, and constant threats against their self and families, individuals willing sacrifice themselves for the greater good. South Koreans are said to sacrifice themselves for their employers (ironically, however, with eventual personal gain in mind), and North Koreans do it for the Party. North Koreans know that they are hungry, but they feel like their sacrifices are for something better, helping return Korea to it's rightful, unified state.

If that's true, however, wouldn't that increase, not decrease, the likelihood of all-out war on the Korean peninsula? Not really. Although North Korean people may be clueless to the outside world, the leaders are not. They know they would never win such a war against a healthier, better equipped South Korean army and it's American ally. Beyond that, the ones controlling the army are the highly privileged people in society. They have nothing to gain, personally, from starting a war, whether they win or not. Except for the case of an internal power struggle, which is a concern worth considering at the moment, war would be a no-win situation for those who start it. And as North Korean history shows, the personal gain of those on top is all that the Party really cares about.

But let's just say, as a matter of discussion, that there is as war, and North Korea does win. Then what? As I mentioned above, North Korea is a starving nation. People are hungry. They are putting their own interests aside, in the name of reuniting the Korean peninsula. But if they were successful in accomplishing that one thing that is so central to their identity and purpose in life, they've got nothing else. And...they're still hungry. Personally, I believe that it would be at that point (no matter how much propaganda they've heard) that people would start listening to their natural human needs and realize, "Oh wait. Having food to eat is good." The Party, having already accomplished the one thing that they staked their reputation on, would have nothing to promise it's people that would keep them quiet (even North Korea has no interest in expanding beyond the Korean borders), and revolution would likely erupt. Even if THAT doesn't happen, the 50-or-so million people who are now living in South Korea would be brought in without the adequate brainwashing, knowing of the lies of the Party and of a better life, and talk would spread. Surely, if hunger didn't spark revolution, rumors would. And revolutions aren't good for those on top.

So all I'm trying to say is this. Even though things heat up at points and the international media constantly stirs fears of the end of the world, I just don't see it happening. Those higher-ups in North Korea are going to keep sipping their expensive whiskey and passing out Swiss watches, with the occasional military threat thrown in because that is, after all, how they can excuse their own lavishness and gluttony (Kim Jong-Un is pretty fat, if you haven't noticed) at the expense of their starving population. And South Korean lawmakers are going to keep passing out free lunches and occasionally setting off tear gas bombs in congress until further notice. Both sides are just a little too unwilling to share to have it any other way.

That said, I do believe that peaceful reunification will happen at some point down the line. I don't now when or how, but I expect that belief in Korean bloodline is far too strong to allow continued separation once both sides have come to their senses. In the meantime, however, both Koreas are going to keep chasing each other around like Tom and Jerry (which Korean elementary students love, by the way). Because, after all, if Tom eats the mouse or Batman kills the Joker, what's left to keep them occupied?

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and all that jazz

On the eve of 2012, five hours before the rabbit hops out and the year of the dragon storms in, I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I had a wonderful holiday, having the opportunity to spend a few days with the wife and in-laws in 속초 (Sokcho) before heading back to Seoul mid-week to frantically get together my applications for graduate school.

No resolutions this year. But through this whole application process I've come to the realization that I should really do something about the size of my vocabulary. If I'm going to continue on my life as a future academic, I need to stop writing like a high school student.

Anyway, off for my last meal of the year. See you in 2012!

Thanks for reading,

-스티브

Minus One Tyrannical (and Uniquely Fashionable) Dictator

잘가!

Big news out of Pyongyang today, as it is being reported that North Korea's 'Dear Leader' Kim Jong-Il has died of a heart attack. Only time will tell what this really means for the Korean peninsula and the rest of the world, but from the intial reports, one can only hope and pray that this will spark the beginning of a new era of positive change north of the DMZ.

And while very few of us will miss Kim's nuclear holocaustic threats, we will always remember Kim Jong-Il for how much he enjoyed looking at things through those stylish, stylish specs.

Until next time,

-스티브

As the First Snow Falls

From my classroom window

I'm going to start off by laying the disclaimer that I have no idea what I'm about to write. Not to discourage anyone from reading that lines that will eventually follow, but I just wanted to put that out there. I'm at work with around 10 minutes before my next class starts, and I haven't posted in a little while. So here goes...

December is by now well underway. The air is getting colder, Christmas is getting nearer, A Charlie Brown Christmas has once again added itself to my listening rotation, and today, I woke up to the first few flakes of snow in the air. Except for the cold, those are all good things, but I'm not going to lie. I really don't like winter. But I've also realized that the biggest reason I don't like things is because that sometime, someway, somehow I made a decision not to like it. So instead of being down about the approaching winter, I'm going to put on the best attitude I can. Besides, without winter, you can't have spring. And spring is pretty cool.

Life is going well, as usual, but the pace of things is getting hard to manage. Ever since the wedding, life has been flying by at the rate that I can't even get my weeks straight. The list of things I need to do is neither getting longer or shorter, it just is. I think I'm really going to be thankful for my week-long winter vacation when it comes. It doesn't look like I'm going be going anywhere exotic this year. That's unfortunate, but not necessarily a bad thing. I'm sure I'll go somewhere domestic. And I'm sure that it will be a good trip.

What else? The Steelers keep winning, which has nothing to Korea, but at least makes me happy. I will admit that it's pretty senseless to watch a bunch of guys on the other side of the world run around with a ball on a field. Especially when very few people around you care (or even know what you're talking about, for that matter). But that kind of senselessness keeps me somewhat connected with the world-back-home and still brings a smile to my face. That's good enough for me.

Class is about to start, so I should be going. One last thing I just came across in the newspaper. It seems that all foreign high school teachers and potentially all middle and elementarty teachers in Seoul will be losing their jobs soon. That really doesn't affect me directly, but it does prove that, despite what my high school economics teacher taught me, there IS such thing as a free lunch. It just comes at the cost of others.

That's all for now. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, in this season of love togetherness, let's keep our pepper spray and tear gas to ourselves.

Until next time,

-스티브